Chapter 19: After marriage day to day life where there are a lot of ‘differences’
The only difference between premarriage and after marriage is, Xu Wei Yu: “Wife ah, cook for me, it’s a legal request ah!”
“Darling, buy me some clothes, there’s nothing handsome to wear, it’s a legal request!”
“Woman, tonight let’s watch a movie, it’s a legal request.”
“Qing Xi ah, sing me a love song, legal request, legal request!”
Many times, I restrained myself from an urge to illegally dispose him……
“Can’t you rest it for a while?”
“I can’t, these requests are under the protection of the ‘Marriage Law of the People’s Republic of China.’ ”
I smiled coldly, “The ‘Marriage Law’s aren’t that bored to care over you buying clothes and watching movies.”
When he quietly walked away, he said, ” ‘Marriage Law’ article 3 forbids family emotional abuse, forbids maltreatment and abandonment of family members……”
I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.
I played an online game with Xu Wei Yu. My character was a Lolita and he kept me as his disciple. After playing for two months, he said he wanted to renounce our master disciple relationship.
Lolita: Can I ask for the reason?
Youth: I don’t want to commit incest.
After we renounced our master disciple relationship, we still weren’t able to get married in the end because the system prompted that the Lolita character is not allowed to get married.
Wei Yu nearly spat out blood.
I went shopping with Xu Wei Yu, actually, it’s a very tiring thing because our tastes are different and we would often have disputes over clothes or a pair of shoes.
Wei Yu: “Do I look good wearing these clothes?”
Me: “You look like a ruffian.” Not anyone can pull off a flower print shirt ah.
We Yu: “This dress looks good, darling, go and try it on.”
Me: “Unless I die.”
Me: “Go and try that black suit on?”
Wei Yu: “It’s like a funeral attire.”
Thus, I rarely went shopping with him. To this, my friends expressed, “The fact that you two are interested in each other is already considered a miracle.” I also deeply agree.
During work, I chatted with Xu Wei Yu on QQ. I typed too fast and accidentally wrote: Do it?
Wei Yu: In broad daylight?! Attaches a bashful emoji.
Me: I accidentally typed wrong, it was supposed to be are you there?
After a long time, he finally replied: Dead! Attaches a vomiting blood emoji.
Me: A friend’s baby is one months old, what should we give?
Wei Yu: Money?
Me: ……Apart from money, what else should we give?
Wei Yu: Gold and silver jewellery?
Me: Something with significance.
Wei Yu: Computer or phone?
Me: Never mind, I asked the wrong person.
Wei Yu: Don’t go ah customer, let’s keep chatting!
Me: You have nothing to do ah?
Wei Yu: I’ve already finished today’s work.
Me: Then read more books to raise your sentiments and self cultivation, don’t make yourself seem so common.
Wei Yu: ……
My colleagues like to ask me to help them buy things online. My card wasn’t connected to online banking but Xu Wei Yu’s was so I kept using his card to buy things. This caused his phone to often receive texts on how much he had spent. Once, after purchasing something for a colleague and received the money from them, I received a call from him saying, “Woman, you can’t keep cashing in like this, if you want money then tell me directly.”
After dinner, during our stroll, Xu Wei Yu whispered to me behind my back, “I’m putting my cellphone in your bag ah.” Then, as he fumbled to open my small shoulder bag behind me, an old man yelled, “Robber!”
Xu Wei Yu turned, “I’m putting in things ah, old man.”
I don’t know why but I burst out laughing.
That old man walked off in embarrassment. I said to the person behind me, “Isn’t it because your actions are too vulgar? So it makes other people misunderstand.”
“How can that be? See how upright I look ah.”
“I’m unable to see.”
“That’s because you didn’t look carefully.”
After we finished our stroll, we saw some aunties dancing in the public square. There was a beautiful girl how came to ask Wei Yu, “Handsome, can I borrow your phone to make a call?”
Wei Yu turned his head, “First, beautiful, if you want my number to start a relationship, I definitely won’t give it, my wife is standing over there. Second, if you are a swindler, then I am a police.”
The beautiful girl left resolutely.
I leaned over and asked Xu Wei Yu, “You’re a police?”
“Just giving an excuse.”
I said, “What won’t you start a relationship with her?”
“I’m afraid of my wife.”
Not long after, Wei Yu saw that the aunties’ dance was quite simple and said, “I’m also going to dance.”
“Don’t embarrass yourself.”
“How can I, this looks so easy, look at me!” Then he ran over, stood behind them and also started to dance.
He barely managed to keep up.
However, an adult man wearing a high quality coat was turning and twisting with a group of aunties, he stood out too much. I couldn’t watch anymore, I waved at him, “You can come back now.”
“Wife, come join ah!”
“Quickly leave, we still need to go the fruit store to buy fruit.”
It wasn’t easy to persuade him back. He said to me, “The auntie in front of me said my dancing was good and told me to come back again tomorrow.”
Me: “Then come back by yourself tomorrow.”
When we got to the fruit store, Xu person only chose the most expensive, cherries, snow lotus fruit and so on. I said to him, “These taste similar to apples and oranges, their nutritional value is also about the same.”
“But clearly cherries look prettier.”
“Are you buying them to look at or eat?’
“First look then eat. Plus, a girl should eat cherries, it enriches your blood, nourishes the skin and helps to detoxify. See, I’m always thinking about you.’
In the middle of the night, someone phoned. I picked it up, it was a male, not speaking in Chinese so I didn’t understand what he was saying. It turns out it was Xu Wei Yu’s phone. Thus I woke him up and gave the phone to him. He said a few words then hung up. I asked, “What is that person saying ah?’
Wei Yu, “I didn’t understand. I told him to speak English but I saw what the time was and told him to phone again in ten hours. People who don’t properly learn the world time zones are the most disliked! Right?”
Me: “Can’t you close your phone when you sleep?”
Wei Yu: “I’m scared someone might need to find me.”