Hello, Old Times Chapter 34

Chapter 34: Sparrows that used to gather in the courts of Wang and Xie of the Jin dynasty*

*[From the poem, Black Robe Lane –
By the Rose Finch Bridge now grow flowers and weeds running wild,
At the end of what used to be the Black Robes Row the sun makes its incline.
Sparrows that used to gather in the courts of Wang and Xie of the Jin dynasty,
Now scattered around commoners’ huts, cottages and their ordinary street life.
Translation source here: https://28utscprojects.wordpress.com/2010/12/03/280/%5D

Yu Zhou Zhou walked back to class. The laughter and screams had already subsided and the roaring voice of their form teacher covered everything else.

“You all have skills now right? Hm? We gave you a free period class and now you don’t know what your surnames are huh?”

Yu Zhou Zhou had long become accustomed to this talk. She turned and walked to the back door to avoid what was happening at the front podium and happened to see Shan Jie Jie.

“Jie Jie, what happened?” Yu Zhou Zhou softly asked.

Shan Jie Jie smiled, “Xu Di and the others were arguing when they came back to class just now. They kicked the water bucket over and the water spilled all over Zhan Yan Fei.”

Yu Zhou Zhou was confused, “Then what was everyone laughing about?”

“Someone had joked that if someone carried Zhan Yan Fei to the courts to freeze for half an hour, she’ll turn into a snowman.”

“What’s so funny about that?”

Shan Jie Jie gave her a light nudge, and whispered, “Are you dumb, what kind of shape is a snowman and what kind of figure does Zhan Yan Fei have?”

Yu Zhou Zhou suddenly understood. She looked over the crowd of people to the girl standing in the middle of the podium who was choking with tears. The cute porcelain doll that was once short and round like a dumpling had reached the awkward start of puberty. She didn’t have the gentle and gracefulness of a teenage girl nor the cute tenderness of a child. The complexion that was once enviable was still as white and pure as snow, it was just that it used to be the fair skin of a little Snow White but now, it was the white complexion of a snowman.

Yu Zhou Zhou wasn’t able to describe what she was feeling inside. She admitted that when Shan Jie Jie had explained the joke to her, she also thought it was quite relevant and really wanted laugh too. But when her gaze stopped on the ‘little snowman’, she suddenly felt a stream of sourness spread inside.

It wasn’t that she didn’t know the attitude her classmates had towards Zhan Yan Fei. Previously, during first and second grade, they blindly worshipped her and supported her like she was a little teacher. After class, there were always a group of people who surrounded her and listened to her tell stories of the things that happened at the TV station including what the comedians and celebrities in the province were like behind the scenes. As long as someone argued with Zhan Yan Fei, no matter what the situation was, Zhan Yan Fei was always right. It was just like how teachers were never wrong.

It wasn’t known from when it started but someone had read the latest journal from the provincial elementary and middle school students publication and noticed Zhan Yan Fei’s interview, “Despite participating in recordings of all kinds of programs and shooting TV dramas all year round, Little Sparrow has never relaxed in her studies. There was once where despite not attending a full day of class in that semester, she still came first in her class.” That person laughed for the entire class, then everyone grouped together to start gossiping. Those fourth and fifth grade children were drawing pink bubbles around Sailor Moon and their adolescence while on the other hand, impatiently pushing down the idol that they had once erected up with their own hands.

Yu Zhou Zhou was no longer able to remember when Little Sparrow’s idol figure was smashed into pieces on the ground.

Perhaps, it was the first time the teacher had criticized her for using the wrong format style in her homework?

Or perhaps, it was during the first time the broadcast station had cut her poetry recital from the station’s Cultural Celebration Gala?

Or perhaps, it was when the ‘Little Red Riding Hood’ program selected a new Little Sparrow?

There was no child who stayed cute forever.

However, there will always be cute children.

A childhood could be milked.

As for what happened later, no one cared. Teacher Yu didn’t defend Zhan Yan Fei as fiercely as she had before – Zhan Yan Fei didn’t come from a strong background. Her background had always been herself.

The scary thing was that she had grown up.

Little Sparrow growing up didn’t necessarily mean that she would naturally become Big Sparrow.

“Give your parents a call and ask them to pick you up to go home and get changed. Don’t catch a cold. Also, you guys, what are you mucking around for, do you guys no longer want a free period anymore? Hurry up and clean this up!”

The situation was ended just like this. It was never this simple and easy before.

Yu Zhou Zhou’s heart suddenly tightened but she couldn’t describe the feeling. The students in class all looked like they were taking delight in her misfortune. The teacher’s simple dismissal of the situation and the weak Zhan Yan Fei who was still crying – everything was telling her that it was as if something had changed.

She was still too small that it took a long time afterwards for Yu Zhou Zhou to realize that this type of feeling was called when the hare dies the fox mourns*.

*[Idiom meaning that one feels sad for the misfortune of his own kind]

The hearts of the people had scattered and the group wasn’t easy to lead – it wasn’t like she didn’t know that the only reason why the students now still gave a respectful attitude to the class monitors because of the prestige of the title. What’s more, ever since Teacher Yu announced the schoolwide reform last week to re-elect the class monitors based on votes, her male classmates such as Xu Di started saying, “Be careful or else we might not vote for you!” like a mantra.

However, Yu Zhou Zhou’s worries weren’t just on the issue of votes for the class election. Her keen intuition vaguely told her that the so-called qualification through means had expired; a so called glorious era, was to end there.

The Yu Zhou Zhou then had not yet matured enough to be able to clearly see all this from the top down. She could only stand in place and look up, waiting for the tide of time to pass over her.

On Sunday morning, Yu Zhou Zhou to arrive at the rehearsal hall. She put both hands by the heater for warmth while stamping her feet to relieve her frozen toes.

“Zhou Zhou, you came so early.”

Yu Zhou Zhou turned her head and saw Teacher Gu close the door of the office and walk towards the rehearsal hall. The rehearsal hall’s excellent echo effects gave his voice a strange alteration.

It had already been two months since she had last seen Teacher Gu. As the former head of the Children’s Palace, Teacher Gu had already retired three years ago. However, he was hired back to continue as the supervisor and consultant of the student orchestra.

Yu Zhou Zhou felt like a magical mirror was erected in front of her. She grew up day by day but the Teacher Gu in the mirror turned older and more rickety by the day. There were a few times where some minor performance issues happened due to his forgetfulness. Although no one dared to blame him, but the other teachers and orchestra members had been discussing it in private from long ago, he was so old, why was he still bothering to come to the orchestra every day?

It was as if their discussions had a curse effect. Starting from last winter, Teacher Gu’s body became worse and worse. He had resigned from his position but still persisted in going to take a look at the orchestra every week. Every week turned into every fortnight, then every three weeks, then every month, every two months…

“Teacher Gu,” Yu Zhou Zhou said as she stood up respectfully.

Teacher Gu was still very stern. Sometimes, when he heard Yu Zhou Zhou blabbering nonsense, the corner of the left side of his mouth will turn up in seemingly a mocking smile but actually, it was a faint smile of appreciation. However, the current Yu Zhou Zhou no longer felt scared with a guilty conscience when she saw him.

Teacher Gu was a good person.

As Yu Zhou Zhou grew up, she learnt to use all sorts of methods to observe, evaluate or ponder over someone’s actions and character. However, towards Teacher Gu, Yu Zhou Zhou would always choose to use the most direct line.

Teacher Gu was a good person. He had changed the trajectory of Yu Zhou Zhou’s life.

Four years ago, he had found Yu Zhou Zhou at school, taken her to sign up for a performance and had taught her how to stand on stage.

At the start, Yu Zhou Zhou was still somewhat restrained and pretentious but under his guidance, bit by bit, she became relaxed and at ease. When she had first started, she would always subconsciously imitate the way Little Sparrow performed at the class meetings and on stage during the school art festival. However, when that type of innocent and cute tone came out from her mouth, Teacher Gu would always rock back and forth in laughter.

“Close your eyes and imagine that you’re already a big celebrity. No matter what your performance ends up like, the audience below will all stupidly think that it’s your personal style and that you’re the most outstanding. Imagine that there are beautiful lights all around you and that everyone below the stage are all cheering for you. Close your eyes and repeat your lines again.” Teacher Gu had patiently said.

Yu Zhou Zhou stared at him blankly, “Like Candy Candy?”

It was Teacher Gu’s turn to stare blankly, “Candy Candy?” However, he quickly smiled, “Okay, you’re Candy Candy.”

Yu Zhou Zhou’s excitement at that moment was hard to express in words.

It was the first time that an adult was willing to be her audience and tell her, okay, you’re Candy Candy.

But yet, when Yu Zhou Zhou had made a mark for herself at the various provincial galas, Teacher Gu had rejected the TV station’s invitation, seemingly not wanting Yu Zhou Zhou to develop in the direction of Little Sparrow.

“Yu Zhou Zhou won’t blame Grandpa Gu right?” Teacher Gu had patted Yu Zhou Zhou on the head without a trace of a smile on his face.

Yu Zhou Zhou smiled and stuck out her tongue, “With this expression of yours, how can I dare to blame you?”

“Silly brat.” Teacher Gu revealed a flicker of a smile. The two stood in the theatre where the stage lights were all off, with only the gentle glow of the orange lights on the sides of the stage.

“I’ve been working at the Children’s Palace since young and I’ve seen many kids who’ve been here since they were very little learn calligraphy, singing, hosting, acting, musical instruments, dancing… Later, when I see them grow up, some people have continued to walk down this path, some people had given up halfway and some people clearly didn’t want to continue down their path but weren’t able to go back. There are many paths in this world that are very narrow but everyone thinks that they are definitely that luckiest person. Actually, all these years, I’ve been here watching… Sigh, it seems a bit serious to say it like this but people who’ve walked down the wrong path as a child will only realize this many years later. After realizing, they’ll need many years to come to terms with it and realize their mistakes and remedy it.”

He lowered his head and seeing the muddleheaded expression of the first grade little girl, he had stopped talking about the topic, “Zhou Zhou, do you understand what I said?”

Yu Zhou Zhou who was in first grade naturally didn’t understand. But many years later, when she thought back to it, she suddenly understood Grandpa Gu. In the cartoon, in the end, Little You had still given up the chance to be Candy Candy forever to turn back to the original innocent and happy little girl. Grandpa Gu had allowed her to become the Candy Candy in her fantasy but stopped her from walking down Little Sparrow’s path. Hence, she was able to have the opportunity to rebecome a happy Little You and grown up peacefully.

However, the young Yu Zhou Zhou only lowered her head at that time to think for a while. Then, she raised her head and used a clear gaze to look at the old grandpa and said, “I don’t really understand, but, Grandpa Gu definitely wouldn’t let me get lost.”

Grandpa Gu burst into laughter, “Why didn’t I know before that your mouth can be so sweet?”

Yu Zhou Zhou corrected him with a serious face, “I’m serious.”

Grandpa Gu beamed and gazed at the theatre audience seats. The short Yu Zhou Zhou raised her head to look at him, then looked at the pitch black theatre audience seats and suddenly felt a bit lonely.

It was a type of loneliness that belonged to Grandpa Yu. She stood by his side hence she could also feel it.

That feeling only floated back up again during her elementary graduation.

The gray teaching building stood there with it’s mouth open, swallowing class by class of students. It watched as they walked into the school with the same ignorant and innocent expression and then watched as they were polished into different shapes and left with a completely different expression. It was like a monster who swallowed and spat out teenagers.

However, no one knew how lonely and difficult it was for the solitary monster to stand in middle of the river of time and helplessly watch generation by generation of people be washed away.

“Zhou Zhou, do you want to learn an instrument?”

“Instrument?”

“Learning music is good for your temperament. Plus, you don’t need to go down this path, you can just learn for fun, okay?”

“But it’s very expensive,” Yu Zhou Zhou said directly, with a sincere expression.

Grandpa Gu rubbed her head, “Don’t worry, I’ll teach you. Your mouth is so sweet so I won’t charge any tuition fees.”

Yu Zhou Zhou immediately paid her “tuition fees” without any hesitation, “Grandpa Gu, I think you’re truly such a good person.”

“What else?” Grandpa Gu raised his eyebrows and smiled as he watched the little pea in front of him.

“Also…” Yu Zhou Zhou pondered over the rest of the limited positive words she knew, and finally, could only say, “Also, you have good eyesight.”

Grandpa Gu knocked her head fiercely, “Who exactly are you praising!?”

The first time Yu Zhou Zhou touched a cello that shone with a beautiful tint in fourth grade, Grandpa Gu had told her that someone said had said that the sound of a cello sounded like a kind and strong person humming a tune.

Yu Zhou Zhou liked this description and had asked with a smile, “Who said it?’

“Gorky.”

Yu Zhou Zhou was amazed, it turned out that “Books are the ladder of human progress” wasn’t the only thing that Gorky had said.

“Zhou Zhou, what are you thinking?”

Yu Zhou Zhou snapped back to reality from her thoughts and saw that Teacher Gu was also roasting his hands in front of the heater next to her.

“I…I remembered who you had to me that the cello’s sound was like… heh heh, the words that Gorky had said.”

“Mhm, I remember.” Teacher Gu who was getting more and more forgetful actually still remembered.

They turned quiet. The big white light shining above their heads was like a giant button – time would pause once it was pressed.

“Zhou Zhou’s going to be in grade six right?’

“Err, there’s still half a year.”

“Are you going to take the ninth grade examinations next summer?”

“Yes, Teacher Shen said to start preparing now.”

Two years ago, Teacher Gu had transferred his disciple, Yu Zhou Zhou to a very well-known teacher within the Children’s Palace, Teacher Shen. Yu Zhou Zhou’s tuition fees were still much cheaper than other’s. Teacher Shen was Teacher Gu’s student so he treated Yu Zhou Zhou with lots of care.

“Do you want to get into Shanghai Music Middle School*?”

*[Shanghai Music Middle School Affiliated to Shanghai Conservatory of Music.]

“What?” Yu Zhou Zhou raised her head.

“Do you want to keep going down this path?”

She had previously said that Teacher Gu would definitely not let her go down the wrong path. However, hearing his sentence, Yu Zhou Zhou wasn’t able to react.”

“No,” She blurted out without reason.

Teacher Gu wasn’t surprised. He smiled and looked at the thick grilles on the window.

“You and Chen An are really alike.”

“However, still consider it.” Teacher Gu slowly walked across the rehearsal hall back to the office with his hands behind his back.

Yu Zhou Zhou quietly looked at the old grandfather’s hunched back and was suddenly filled with panic inside without a reason. It seemed like fate was whispering in her ear but she couldn’t understand.