Chapter 37: Is there anything in this world that doesn’t change?
When the class ended, the classroom was a mess. Yu Zhou Zhou had her head lowered as she put away her pencil case and notebook and didn’t notice Lin Yang on the other side of the classroom frantically squeezing over rivers and mountains to where she was.
“Zhou..Zhou Zhou!” Lin Yang’s red scarf was skewed to the side and looked a little comical.
Yu Zhou Zhou raised her head and smiled at him, “What’s up?”
Seeing Yu Zhou Zhou’s smile, Lin Yang stopped in his tracks abruptly.
It was this type of smile again.
Once, there was a time where he had said to Yu Zhou Zhou, if you’re upset or angry, show it on your face.
“Last time, I went with my mum and dad to an old traditional Chinese doctor’s house to visit. He said, to keep your emotions on your face*– that’s how you say it right, I didn’t say it wrong right?” Lin Yang gazed inquisitively at Yu Zhou Zhou.
*[He was trying to say the phrase, keep your countenance/keep a poker face but he remembered it incorrectly as keep your emotions on your face instead.]
“Yes, keep your emotions on your face.” Yu Zhou Zhou nodded.
“Yes,” Receiving affirmation, Lin Yang beamed and continued, “He said that keeping your emotions on your face is good for your body. You can’t always sup.. suppress… yes, suppress your emotions. It’s not good for your body. Mhm…you can’t effectively detoxify.” Lin Yang couldn’t fully understand a lot of the terms the old traditional Chinese doctor had mentioned so he could only pick out some main points without any context and choppily say it out.
When Yu Zhou Zhou heard, a smile appeared on her face that was completely incomprehensible to Lin Yang. She looked at Lin Yang with squinted eyes, with Class 8’s disciplinary and sanitary record in her arms and said lightly, “You need capital to be able to keep your emotions on your face.”
Lin Yang stared blankly as Yu Zhou Zhou turned and left. Her ponytail always swayed proudly, just like when she had said those things he didn’t understand, there was that type of unknown, domineering alienation.
“Zhou Zhou, you’ve changed.”
In the noisy classroom, Lin Yang was filled with explanation and apologies but in the end, he had said something inexplicable – just like the type of words that Yu Zhou Zhou often said. Yu Zhou Zhou stopped smiling when she heard his words and lowered her head to pack her schoolbag.
Is there anything that doesn’t change? After nearly five years, the small stalls around the school had all been moved into an indoor shed by the City Municipality’s Administration and Environment Team. The food store changed owners three times before finally being changed into a furniture store. Even the provincial government kindergarten moved locations with the original site to be changed into a public recreational square…
That original path home had long changed and was no longer the way home.
What was there that didn’t change Lin Yang? Expressing your emotions on your face, refusing to change and never compromising all needed capital.
Yu Zhou Zhou put on her school bag and waved to Lin Yang before walking out the back door.
Unsurprisingly, Ling Xiang Qian’s voice drifted over, “Lin Yang, how are you here, Jiang Chuan and I were wanting to ask, will you still come next time? This class is so boring, the questions are so easy but it’s not surprising, there’s still people who don’t know how to do any of it…”
“Aren’t you annoying?” Lin Yang turned and shouted at Ling Xiang Qian before hurriedly charging across the group of people to the entrance Yu Zhou Zhou left from.
Ling Xiang Qian’s face turned red then white. Jiang Chuan who never reacted, sniffed then suddenly started laughing.
“None of you should talk about the other, you’re all each dumber than the other.”
Yu Zhou Zhou avoided the crowded main staircase and walked down the side staircase instead. She vaguely heard the sound of footsteps behind her and guessed that it was Lin Yang but even after trying a few times, the corners of her mouth wasn’t able to turn upwards. The smile she put on when Lin Yang had called her earlier was already her limit.
Actually, Yu Zhou Zhou felt it was very embarrassing hence she didn’t have the slightest want of seeing Lin Yang at the moment. The embarrassment of standing on the podium in front of everyone’s gaze but being unable to do the maths problems was like imprinting the word ‘stupid’ on her forehead. She never blamed Lin Yang because what Lin Yang said was right.
Yu Zhou Zhou raised her head and looked out at the reddening sky. It was already past 7. Although it was close to summer so the sun was setting later and later, but today was a cloudy day so it was already quite dark outside.
It was the first time she felt a strange type of heaviness. It was also the first time she started thinking about the thing that was termed the ‘future’.
How could she not remember when she was little, what her uncle had said to reprimand brother Yu Qiao?
“If you don’t get into a good middle school then you can’t get into a good high school. If you can’t get into a good high school then you can’t get into a good university. If you can’t get into a good university then you can just wait to sweep the streets! With your attitude alone, you won’t even be able to sweep the streets well so just wait to drink the Northwest wind!*”
Was the Northeast wind tastier than the Southeast wind? Yu Zhou Zhou wanted to make herself laugh but discovered that this joke was very dry.
*[Drinking the Northeast wind means being so poor you can only live on air.]
It was a panic about the future that made her fingers tremble, to the point that she started to irrationally blame herself, why did she not understand the importance of Math Olympiad earlier. Why did she not study maths seriously earlier, why…
The past can’t be chased. Yu Zhou Zhou stood regretfully yet helplessly in the empty stairwell, staring out at the distant red sky in a trance.
The footsteps behind grew closer, she nearly wanted to blurt out, “Lin Yang, let me stay alone for a bit okay?”
But when she turned around, it was an unfamiliar face.
“Your mum isn’t able to get married is she? Right?”
“What?” Yu Zhou Zhou’s mind went blank.
“My mum told me to pretend not to know you at school because it would have a bad influence on my dad. However, the other day, I heard my mum say that the other person didn’t dare marry your mum. Your mum dated them for a while but it still went bust, she can’t get married!”
Yu Zhou Zhou’s hands and feet were ice cold. She tightly gripped the straps of her schoolbag and bit her lips, not saying anything.
She remembered that a few years ago, her mum had once taken her to meet an uncle*. The three of them ate together. Although at the time she was still quite ignorant, she was roughly able to guess that the uncle was pursuing her mum. Zhou Zhou always thought that her mum was the prettiest woman in the world. She was much prettier than all the mums in the cartoons. This type of fairy-like mum should be wed by a good person.
*[Uncle here is used as a polite term to call a man that’s of older age and not actually related to them].
That uncle was very good to them.
However, recently he rarely appeared.
Yu Zhou Zhou though, never asked about it. Every time her mum asked if she liked that uncle, Yu Zhou Zhou would vigorously nod her head – she remembered hearing some adults chatting about how when parents remarry, their children’s attitudes to it becomes a hinderance. Yu Zhou Zhou was scared that she’d become that hinderance so she would often use every opportunity to comfort her mum and tell her that she didn’t mind.
“Who are you?” Yu Zhou Zhou raised her head and asked.
“Zhou Chen Ran!” Lin Yang’s breathless, panting voice appeared at the entrance of the stairwell. He grabbed Zhou Shen Ran’s collar roughly – the action suddenly reminded Yu Zhou Zhou of that time during the Communist Youth League meeting, how she was hit on the bottom amidst everyone’s laughter. The boy who tried to run but was caught by Lin Yang by the collar was the same skinny dark boy here.
“Why are you pulling me again? What did I do?” Zhou Chen Ran’s sharp voice, perhaps from puberty hitting early, was like a little duck calling for help.
“What are you doing hanging around here instead of going home? Are you bullying girl classmates again? Hurry up and leave!”
“Lin Yang, let go of me. If you don’t let go, I’m going to tell my mum. Last time you hit me in front of so many people, your mum even apologized to my mum, but you still dare to grab me. Are you looking to get a beating!?”
“What your mum my mum. How old are you to still be going around saying “I’m telling my mum”, how f*cking shameless are you!?”
It was the first time Yu Zhou Zhou heard Lin Yang swear. She slowly recovered from the shock of Zhou Shen Ran’s previous words. Their conversation no longer made Yu Zhou Zhou feel at a loss.
Zhou Shen Ran was probably that person’s son.
They had actually been in the same school for so long. If it wasn’t for the fear of ‘bad influence’, she feared that her world may have long been destroyed by the person behind him.
Yu Zhou Zhou’s cold sweat had already drenched the back of her white school uniform. She leaned on the window sill and blankly watched Lin Yang and Zhou Shen Ran shout at each other.
“Lin Yang, why do you care so much? Ha, I know it, you like Yu Zhou Zhou right?” Zhou Shen Ran laughed cheekily and waved his head, “You like Yu Zhou Zhou, Yu Zhou Zhou is a wild seed*!”
*[Illegitimate child]
The term was passed down from generation to generation – contempt and maliciousness was easier to pass down than inheritance.
Before he finished his sentence, Lin Yang’s fist had already landed.
“If she’s a wild seed then you’re just a f*cking extra!”
The only two times Lin Yang had swore in his life were all given to Zhou Shen Ran. They fought into a ball and rolled from the top of the stairwell to Yu Zhou Zhou’s feet.
Yu Zhou Zhou only quietly stood in the middle of the stair well watching them without a word. She coldly stared at the floor tiles without any hint of tears.
Lin Yang, beat him to death…
Yu Zhou Zhou sat on the seat with her face faint red in color. She looked at Lin Yang apologize to Shen Zhou Ran under his mum’s lecture. Shen Zhou Ran, whose face was badly battered, wanted to say something but he wasn’t able to open his mouth so he could only glare with his little eyes shooting flames.
The art teacher who was on duty, was on the side trying to meditate the situation.
Only Yu Zhou Zhou was sitting on the little stool at the entrance watching them.
Yu Zhou Zhou felt extremely uncomfortable and flustered inside. The feeling of anger and grievance just then had made her unable to control the urge to want to cheer when Lin Yang was beating up Shen Zhou Ran. However, she only stood there woodenly and didn’t try to stop them. Once it finally calmed down, she raised her head to look at the white light and Lin Yang and Zhou Shen Ran who didn’t seem so realistic under the white light. Her mind finally cleared.
They were in trouble.
Yu Zhou Zhou couldn’t say anything, she could only use a guilty expression to look at Lin Yang who had his head down with a stubborn face. Lin Yang’s mum was extremely mad. As she lectured Lin Yang, her gaze shot at Yu Zhou Zhou like a knife from time to time. Yu Zhou Zhou lowered her head and stared at the straps of her violet blue leather shoes. She discovered that there was a crack on the strap of her left shoe that wasn’t very obvious. She stared nervously and focusedly at that light crack until her head hurt.
“Yu Qing, don’t worry, I’m going to take Ran Ran to the hospital now. I’m nearly going to be angered to death by our little ancestor. These past few days, he’s been making a ruckus with us and with his grandparents. It’s fine if he makes a ruckus at home but he’s even bullying Ran Ran at Maths Olympiad class. I reckon he’s just gone mad from showing off his award, just see how I beat him up when we get home! …Okay, don’t get angry, I’m going to drive them to the State No. 2 Hospital now, go and attend your meeting first.”
After listening to Lin Yang’s mum’s call, Yu Zhou Zhou was easily able to guess that Lin Yang’s mum and that woman knew each other and may be quite close as well.
She was no longer able to count her heartbeat but her mind was still very clear.
So Jiang Chuan knew, Lin Xiang Qian knew, hence Lin Yang…must also know.
Hence a long time ago, they all said, my mum told me to keep away from you.
The tears that were just rolling in Yu Zhou Zhou’s eyes instantly dried. She raised her head and felt that her heart was beating so hard it was about to jump out but she had completely calmed down.
The art teacher was tired from meditating the situation so she spread the flames instead, “That girl, Yu Zhou Zhou right, come come come, come over and apologize as well. If it wasn’t for you, there wouldn’t be so much trouble. Hurry up and handle the matter and be done with it.”
Why do I need to apologize!? Yu Zhou Zhou stood up and finally raised the courage to face everyone present.
She remembered Lin Yang’s mum’s gaze when they first met. It was when Yu Zhou Zhou had implicated her baby son through the tomato and egg in her lunchbox. Lin Yang’s mum was a well-educated parent but she really treasured her child so there was restraint and blame in her eyes, making her gaze extremely complicated.
Today, her gaze was just as complicated. It was just that this time, what prevailed was clearly blame and resentment.
Should she bow her head to settle the matter or refuse to admit doing anything wrong?
It was the first time Yu Zhou Zhou felt scared but had to stand tall.
“It has nothing to do with Yu Zhou Zhou, it’s all my fault!” Lin Yang raised his head and yelled. But he didn’t expect his mum to viciously hit the back of his head. Lin Yang instantly lost his voice. He covered the back of his head and lowered his head, biting his lip as if trying to restrain himself from crying.
Lin Yang’s mum put down her hand and looked at her son, filled with regret and pity. However, she still put on a very stern and angry expression.
Yu Zhou Zhou who was leaning by the wall suddenly revealed a trace of a sneer.
Under the gaze of the two adults, she walked in front of Zhou Shen Ran.
“Sorry.” Yu Zhou Zhou softly said as she bent and bowed.
—
Translators Note: Go Lin Yang!! Lin Yang’s always believed in the Yu Zhou Zhou he knows instead of trusting in the rumors about her family. In terms of the part about capital, how I interpret it is that Lin Yang’s always had his mum and dad to protect him and allow him to grow up innocently so he’s able to freely laugh and cry and express his emotions without a worry. Yu Zhou Zhou on the other hand matured early and she doesn’t think that she’s able to freely do as she likes because there’s noone to back her up and protect her if she makes a mistake.
Tofubyu 