Hello, Old Times Chapter 40

Chapter 40: To say goodbye is to die a little bit

When the several teachers from the Children’s Palace returned, a doctor had just opened the door of the operating room and walked out. They stared inside and saw Teacher Gu being ‘sucked’ up by two big suction cups that a doctor was holding then falling back heavily like a carp. The rib bones on his pale and thin chest were very distinct. Yu Zhou Zhou was so scared she covered her mouth and raised her head to look at Chen An for help.

“It’s just an electric shock. Don’t be scared.”

Chen An was still extremely gentle. However, at that moment, Yu Zhou Zhou felt that he was like the moon that she looked when she was little. The afternoon moon that was extremely faint but it made people unable to stop yearning after it like they were possessed.

“Are the clothes ready?” The doctor who was full of sweat from the CPR asked the teachers while wiping his sweat. A female teacher handed him a bottle of coke and smiled, “Doctor, we just bought this, please drink it and take a rest.”

Seemingly because the people there weren’t Teacher Gu’s relatives, the doctor was very blunt with his words. He unscrewed the bottle and took a few mouthfuls before wrinkling his nose, “It appears that he can’t be saved. You can start preparing.”

This sentence seemed to be a signal to the god of death. Yu Zhou Zhou ran to the door and leaned against the doorframe to stare inside and saw Grandpa Gu actually open his eyes and look directly at her.

The last gleam of light flashed across his dry eyes. Yu Zhou Zhou instantly burst into tears.

“Grandpa Gu still has words to say!” She turned and shouted at Chen An, “Take off the mask on his face!”

Chen An patted her shoulder comfortingly, “Zhou Zhou, calm down.”

But Grandpa Gu had something to say and couldn’t say it. Very quickly, Yu Zhou Zhou had become a crying mess. She gripped Chen An’s sleeve tightly. With tears in her eyes, she seemed to see the busy nurses and doctors all stop and take out the different tubes and instruments from Teacher Gu’s body. They also seemed to say something to the teachers around.

“Chen An, look after this kid outside and wait, we’ll go in and clean up.”

Chen An hugged Yu Zhou Zhou and gently patted her head.

“Death is no different from going afar, you’ll just never see them again. You can pretend that Grandpa Gu went afar. It’s just like those little buddies from when you were small or your classmates who are going elsewhere for middle school. Everything will just disappear is all.”

“It’s not the same,” Yu Zhou Zhou stubbornly shook her head, “Perhaps you’ll meet those people again or perhaps you won’t. But there will be never be any perhaps with those who are dead.”

Chen An was choked by her words and could only chuckle, “majority of perhaps are all lies.”

Around half an hour later, Teacher Gu’s preparations were complete and he was ready to be pushed to the morgue. Yu Zhou Zhou timidly walked over to the bed and was surprised to find that the person lying on the bed had such an unfamiliar face.

“This is…”

“People will change after dying. You’ll understand after growing up and gaining more knowledge.”

Yu Zhou Zhou’s tears immediately dried up. She wasn’t able to cry facing such an unfamiliar person.

Yu Zhou Zhou Zhou felt extremely terrified over the fact that her tears were missing. Not crying meant that she was coldblooded, that she was unfilial, disrespectful… This type of anxiety made her desperately try to squeeze out tears. In her mind, she played back the way Grandpa Gu arched his back to help her install the trimmer on her new instrument with a smile on his face. She also thought back to his rickety back standing on the infinitely lonely stage. She was only trying to frantically remember, not for the sake of reminiscing but for evoking her lost sorrow.

Yu Zhou Zhou lowered her head. Chen An’s solemn side profile made her feel extremely ashamed so she was even more afraid to raise her head to let him find out that her eyes were suddenly dry.

“If you can’t cry then don’t force the tears out.”

It was funny, these gentle words made Yu Zhou Zhou instantly burst into tears – not in memory of Grandpa Gu, Yu Zhou Zhou was crying in anxiousness.

“Grandpa Gu is always able to understand your thoughts so he will forgive you.”

Chen An was really good at inducing others to cry. After hearing these sentimental words, she looked at him with her eyes filled with tears then looked at the stranger lying on the hospital bed.

When the funeral was held, the Children’s Palace provided a crowded sea of flower wreathes and there was even a group of students who were organized to come and attend. Yu Zou Zhou stuck close to Chen An and held his arms tightly with her head lowered, afraid that someone would discover she didn’t cry.

Yu Zhou Zhou discovered that there would always be some part of her body that would temporarily fail but would resume working again in an advertent moment.

It was another Sunday morning, when Yu Zhou Zhou got to the orchestra’s empty rehearsal hall early. She put her school bag down and walked into the heater that had long turned icy cold when she suddenly felt a sense of disharmony between time and space.

She stretched out her hand and put the back of her snow white hands and long fingers lightly on the heater but wasn’t able to feel the slightest warmth.

Suddenly, there was the sound of a door creaking open from behind her. Yu Zhou Zhou turned her head back fiercely, a pair of large, invisible hands was gripping her heart tightly.

The office door opened slowly. Yu Zhou Zhou let out a nervous breath and stared wide-eyed at the sliver of light from the door crack.

“I’m telling you, if you hand your child to me, you can let sister-in-law to rest assured. With our relationship, why are you still being polite…”

The new head pushed open the door and walked out with a bulging belly. He talked loudly into his cell phone while walking to the entrance of the hall.

The deep, gruff voice grew distant and the door of the hall was fiercely slammed shut with a bang. Yu Zhou Zhou still stared stunned at the wooden door of the office that was still making creaking noises and suddenly felt something cold on her chin.

She stretched out her hand, it was tears.

Was she finally crying?

There would never again be someone who would look at her dotingly with their hands behind their back and ask her with a smile, “Zhou Zhou, did you not practice your cello properly again last week?”

There would never again be someone who would stand beside her and warm their hands on the heater and sigh while looking at the snow outside the window with a rickety back.

There would never be a perhaps again.

That person who left for afar will never come back…  

“You’ve rubbed rosin on for the fourth time now, wouldn’t the bow be too astringent?” Yu Zhou Zhou tilted her head and asked the girl beside her. From an hour ago, the girl had been endlessly fondling with her violin – she had matched her A string with the pianist five or six times. After playing a few chords, she nervously took out a dry cloth to rub off the rosin powder that had lightly fallen off the bow onto the violin. Then, she pulled out a small rectangular box and vigorously rubbed the rosin onto the yellowish bow hair.

The girl turned her head and smiled unnaturally. She pointed at the cello bracket under Yu Zhou Zhou’s cello and asked softly, “Aren’t you afraid that when you go for the exam in a moment, the support will loosen before you finish playing and then…”

Yu Zhou Zhou’s expression also changed, “Can’t you think of something good?”

The girl put on a sullen face, “I want to but I can’t think of anything good.”

“Is this your first time taking the exam?” Yu Zhou Zhou asked as she leaned down and twisted the bracket vigorously a few times to make sure that it was fully tightened before raising her head again – nervousness was clearly contagious.

“It’s not. Have you ever seen take the tenth grade exam as their first exam? I’m, I’m just…” The girl swallowed, “I’m planning to take the entrance exam of S City’s school of music. One of the three examiners today is the teacher who is in charge of their year’s student enrolments. Actually, I’ve already taken him as my teacher but my mum kept telling me that even if we have to give some money, she still hopes that I can leave a good impression. She’s been telling me the whole ride here, telling me to make sure I do well so how can I not be nervous!?”

Yu Zhou Zhou immediately became interested, “You said…taking him as your teacher? Why? Don’t you have a teacher?”

The girl looked to be two years older than Yu Zhou Zhou. She stood up and rolled her eyes, a bit pretentiously, then tapped Yu Zhou Zhou on the forehead, “I can tell that you don’t know anything. Do you think that you can get into the affiliated middle school as long as you’re good at the cello?” Stupid. You have to go through a lot of connections. Back then, my mum would scold me for not meeting expectations while helping me build up connections, I was annoyed to death.”

Yu Zhou Zhou sat up straight, smiling flatteringly and pretended to be ignorant and oblivious, “Sister, what do you mean by connections?”

“It’s the people who are in charge of student enrolments. There are a lot. Plus, you have to get acquainted with the teachers inside the middle school before the exams. If you don’t know anyone inside, then it’s not possible.”

The girl beamed with joy as she spoke and her voice was immature but her demeanour was already like an adult.

Yu Zhou Zhou bent down, cupped her face and smiled, “Then what if your skills were truly very good? Would you still need to be like this?”

The girl knocked Yu Zhou Zhou fiercely on the head again, “I called you dumb and you immediately become stupid. Do you think I’m only trying to find connections to pass the entrance exam? I’m not just trying to pass the exam, I’m doing it for the sake of not being pushed down by others! My mum says that this is self-defense!”

The white wooden door not far from them opened and a kid who had just finished their exam came out with their violin. The girl paused then sat down, picked up her rosin and continued to abuse her bow.

The dark iron door next to the white door also opened. A boy who had just finished his exam came out with his cello. Yu Zhou Zhou also stopped smiling, she bent down and vigorously tightened her bracket.

“By the way, that… self-defense that you spoke of,” Yu Zhou Zhou lowered her head and asked the most critical question with a soft voice, “How much money does it cost?”

The girl laughed, “You mean giving gifts?”

Yu Zhou Zhou lowered her head further and lightly smiled, “Mhm.”

“Tch, we don’t give gifts anymore. We directly go to the classes. The enrolment teacher’s classes are 45 minutes each lesson for 300RMB. Just on the ‘classes’, I’ve spent more than 30,000RMB.”

“This is just the initial stage?”

“The money that needs to be spent isn’t just on this. Later, if I really get to go to S City, my mum has to come with me. The costs will be even greater then.”

“Then why do you want to…why do you want to go to that affiliated middle school? Do you really like playing the violin?”

The girl’s face no longer held that condescending sense of superiority.

She wasn’t in a hurry to reply to Yu Zhou Zhou’s question. She put down the rosin and bow in her hand and looked out the window with her face cupped in her hands.

“Of course I… knew I wasn’t Mozart a long time ago.” She softly said with a sudden smile.